Senti Queen

A voice behind me is telling me to get back on my feet and chase life’s material pleasures again.  “Two months is enough for bumming around,” it says. Duhh, I’m not! I’m just trying to satisfy my hunger for some things I’m deeply passionate about which my previous job deprived me of doing.  But then again, it’s right. Let’s face it, when reality knocks us out, we often have to sacrifice our happiness for survival.

There are eight job application letters with attached resume in my email’s draft folder for quite sometime now, waiting to be sent to various addys.  For some reasons, however, I couldn’t bring myself to click the “Send” button. Not now. Not yet. I’m still having some reservations and it has always been my mantra that “when in doubt, don’t go for it”.

“Marami ka pa kasing pera kaya hindi ka pa napi-pressure,” Jeff reasoned out.  Partly true. Not yet pressured, yes; much money, no.  It’s just that in every major decision that may either make or break me, I am the type who really give it much thought and procrastination.  I’ve wanted this career shift for the longest time and I couldn’t afford to misfire.  I’m not even settled yet what new career path to take– is it HR, communication, or teaching?  I think kaya ko naman silang pagsabay-sabayin eh.  Just a matter of time and the right opportunity.

One thing is for sure now, though.  Whereas a competitive pay is still a consideration, it’s not that major.  I’ve been there.  I had my share of the good life in terms of material things.  I have also experienced some life’s greatest joys at one point in time or another. But did having one without the other make me happy?  Not really.  Lesson is, I shouldn’t have sacrificed one for the other if I could have the power to achieve both. 

We have our respective standards or bases of contentment– be it material or otherwise. Or both. But at the end of the day, it all boils down to this question: “Am I happy?”  No ifs. No buts. Otherwise, there’s really something wrong and we have to figure it out before it’s too late.  We only live once unless the idea of reincarnation appeals to us.  Life is too short for us not to to seek what we really wanted in this lifetime.  We shouldn’t be afraid to take risks, get out of our comfort zones, and make that change happen!

Ooopss, before you get the feeling that this piece is über emo, don’t worry, this is not yet a sign of a mid-life crisis.  I’m just trying to get my (professional) life back on the right track by asking the basic questions.