“Ano ba ang hinahanap mo sa isang lalaki?” Two nights ago, some friends asked me this question. I was caught off guard because I was about to puke (eewwww…) after downing several glasses of red wine that I was only able to say, “basta may sense kausap and completely available”. Then I hurriedly excused myself to spare us all from embarrassment. Hahaha!
Upon returning to my seat, I managed to add, “basta galing siya sa top three schools” which elicited some reactions that these three schools have no monopoly of the “best of the best”. Yes, I agree but to a certain extent, it really helps that one has already proven his worth in terms of intellectual abilities, skills, and other competencies by surviving at least the rigors and challenges of going to these schools.
Anyway, here are the other more important traits and qualities that I look for in a potential partner:
- Has a great sense of humor
- Dignified, confident, and secure
- A born leader
- Knows how to handle difficult situations
- Driven and ambitious
- God-fearing
- Open-minded but highly principled
- Loyal and honest
- Romantic and sweet
- Has a great sense of responsibility
- Crazy and childlike at times
- Has good core values
- And of course, with good looks naman (hehehe..)
Yes, he should be all that. Otherwise, di bale na lang.
“Mahal kita pero hindi kita gusto. I’m sorry..” (meaning, maghiwalay muna sila). That was a line I heard from Migs while watching Your Song last Sunday. Makes sense! How about “Gusto kita pero hindi kita mahal“? Likewise possible, isn’t it?
ON LIKE: Liking each other means having a higher level of compatibility, enjoying each other’s company, having great conversations, being comfortable with each other’s presence even at your worst form or state, always looking forward to see each other after every (temporary) parting, supporting each other’s interests and ambitions, or simply feeling good whenever you are together.
ON LOVE: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Inspiring. Painful. Confusing. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
IN SHORT: You have to LIKE and LOVE each other if you want FOREVER. If a person you really LIKE pisses you off, love kicks in to save the day for both of you. In the same way, if a person you really LOVE pisses you off, your liking for him or her leads you back into love.
Any failed marriage or relationship for that matter has proven that love (or liking) alone is not enough to keep two people together.
Last April 7, a good friend invited me to take a short trip at the Puso ng Carmelo in Rosario, La Union. It’s a spiritual sanctuary of some Camerlite Sisters, the main house of which is located on top of a hill overlooking the sea. The views from where I sat, while waiting for my friend, were breathtaking that I could not resist taking some pictures.
Upon seeing me holding my camera, my friend quipped “Hoy, hindi ito resort! Bawal mag-picture dito.” Being the usual pasaway one, I shot back, “Ganda eh, sayang ang view ‘pag wala akong remembrance!”
Long before the movie version was shown, I have already read the book of the same title of this New York bestseller on relationships. In summary, the author only emphasized that (girls, pay attention!) a guy is not that into you if he is not calling you, not asking you out, or not making love with you (or in whatever way or context you may call it.. haha!).
I decided to add some more to the somewhat bitin list. So here’s my take on the issue. A person is not that into you if he or she…
- only calls you because he or she needed something from you
- asks you out because you offered to pay the bill
- wants to make love with you because he or she has been feeling tigang for the past few weeks
- flirts with someone else because he or she wants to make you feel jealous
- lies about things because he or she does not want to be confronted
- makes you as his or her “spare tire” because the other guy or girl may dump him or her anytime
- is inconsistent with his or her actions because he or she is not sure about committing himself or herself to you
- marries you for the wrong reasons (read: he does not make a romantic proposal at all and he’s just doing it out of necessity)
- hates you because there are things you do not love about him or her
On the other hand, he or she is REALLY INTO YOU if he or she…
- sends you text messages every day even if you do not reply at once or at all
- makes you as his or her No. 1 featured friend on Friendster even if you two are not really “friends” yet
- surprises you with little things you love even if you hate surprises
- brings you food even if you do not ask him or her to buy
- invites you to watch movies you like even if he or she does not like them (read: horror movies or cheesy chick flicks)
- composes poems or songs for you even if you find them corny or mushy
- spends time with you even if he or she is damn too busy with more important things
- wants to marry you even if he or she does not believe in the idea of marriage (ala Ben Affleck in the movie–my favorite scene!)
- loves you just the same even if there are things that he or she hates about you
In short, a person who is truly in love does things for you not “because of” but “in spite of”. As for me, I could never imagine myself being with someone who is not that into me as I am into him. Though others may find this a bit conditional, mutual love and attraction in almost the same degree do pay in the long run.
Recent Comments